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DJ Sideshow Bob
DJ Sideshow Bob

Sophisticated beats for the refined listener... and reformed criminal.

Former children's entertainer turned DJ, bringing an eclectic mix of Gilbert & Sullivan, classical compositions, and surprisingly catchy electronica. Each set is a masterpiece of carefully orchestrated revenge—er, rhythm.

"No one who speaks German could be an evil man!" - Parole Board

🎵 The Sound

  • 🎭 Gilbert & Sullivan remixes - H.M.S. Pinafore meets house music
  • 🎹 Classical drops - Beethoven with bass
  • 💀 Dark electronica - Revenge is a dish best served with a sick beat
  • 🌹 Romantic interludes - Die Bart, Die (it's German for "The Bart, The")

⚠️ Warning: All rakes have been removed from the premises for your safety.

The rake drops at midnight. So do the beats.

Krusty Entertainment
Krusty Entertainment

Forty years of making children laugh (and occasionally causing lawsuits).

From seltzer bottles to heart bypass surgery, Krusty the Clown and his team deliver the finest in family entertainment that lawyers will approve. We've survived product recalls, tax evasion charges, and that incident with the monkey.

"I heartily endorse this event or product!" - Krusty (for a fee)

🤡 Our Services

  • 🎭 Live Comedy Shows - Sideshow Mel not included (extra fee)
  • 🎈 Birthday Parties - Mr. Teeny available for appearances
  • 📺 TV Tapings - Be part of the Krusty the Clown Show!
  • 🍔 Krusty Burger Catering - Partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages

⚠️ Warning: Not responsible for any product endorsements, merchandise defects, camp experiences gone wrong, or Sideshow Bob-related incidents.

The Aztec Theater
The Aztec Theater

Art deco elegance meets questionable carpet stains since 1927.

From golden age Hollywood premieres to modern blockbusters about radioactive monsters, we've been entertaining Springfield for generations. Our velvet curtains have witnessed first dates, last dates, and Homer falling asleep in every genre.

"You call this a bicep? This is a bicep!" - McBain (shown exclusively here)

🎥 Now Showing

  • 🦸 McBain Films - ICE TO MEET YOU
  • 🦹 Radioactive Man - Up and atom!
  • 🎭 Troy McClure Classics - "The President's Neck is Missing!"
  • 👻 Treehouse of Horror - Marathon screenings every October

🍿 The popcorn is fresh. The carpet is... experienced. The seats have memories they'll never tell.

"Ooh! A Gary Larson calendar!"

Art deco elegance meets questionable carpet stains since 1927.

From golden age Hollywood premieres to modern blockbusters about radioactive monsters, we've been entertaining Springfield for generations. Our velvet curtains have witnessed first dates, last dates, and Homer falling asleep in every genre.

"You call this a bicep? This is a bicep!" - McBain (shown exclusively here)

🎥 Now Showing

  • 🦸 McBain Films - ICE TO MEET YOU
  • 🦹 Radioactive Man - Up and atom!
  • 🎭 Troy McClure Classics - "The President's Neck is Missing!"
  • 👻 Treehouse of Horror - Marathon screenings every October

🍿 The popcorn is fresh. The carpet is... experienced. The seats have memories they'll never tell.

"Ooh! A Gary Larson calendar!"

Events

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👻 Treehouse of Horror Marathon

Nov 28
EST Weekly · Saturday
More dates Sat, Dec 5 Sat, Dec 12 Sat, Dec 19
From $15

About

The Following Program Contains Scenes of Extreme Violence... 👻

Viewer discretion is advised. Seriously. 💀

"Quiet, you! Do you want to get sued?!" - Homer (re: "The Shining")

📺 Tonight's Episodes

  • ❄️ "The Shinning" - "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy?" "Don't mind if I do!"
  • ⏰ "Time and Punishment" - DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! (Homer touches everything)
  • 🍖 "Nightmare Cafeteria" - Grade F meat has never been scarier
  • 🤡 "Clown Without Pity" - "The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!"

🎃 What to Expect

  • 😱 Jump scares - Approximately 12 per hour
  • 🩸 Gratuitous violence - It's Halloween, baby!
  • 🐸 Hypno-Toad - Wait, wrong show
  • 🍬 Candy - Distributed between segments

⚠️ Warning: May cause nightmares, fear of dolls, and an irrational distrust of toasters. 🍞

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